Dr Lillian on Body-First Stress Tools for Founders

Dr Lillian Nejad0:01
Hi everyone. Thanks so much for coming today. I know it's, you know, you're taking an hour of your day, so I hope that it adds value. Today we are going to talk about practical strategies that can help you perform better and lead better and build sustainable businesses, really through building sustainable selves. So My background is in psychology. I've been a clinical psychologist for 25 years and also as a business owner of multiple businesses over the last 10 years. So I'm in both worlds. I understand the psychology of stress and I also understand the pressure of being a business owner. So hopefully I'm in a good position to, give you some strategies that might help you in particularly challenging times. So I just wanted to share my slides today, so I'm gonna put them up. There we go. Oops, share. I'm sorry, I'm supposed to use the mouse and I'm not using it. Can everyone see my slides? Yes, very good. Okay, so today's session or the two sessions that I'm gonna be running for BOA, as part of the Mastermind is Master Your Mental Game, the first session being about regulating your body to optimise your mind. And as I said, I'm aware of the psychology of stress and also aware of what it's like to be a business owner. And this is often what it feels like. And maybe you can relate. It is full of lemons being pelted at you at all times. That might be things like your clients or cash flow or not knowing what strategy to implement or something just going wrong technically. If you have your particular lemons that are annoying you now, please feel free to put them in the chat and Kirsten can tell me about them. By the way, if you put anything into the chat, I can't see it, but Kirsten will let me know what's going on in there. But we are, we do tend to experience kind of these stressors constantly when we're in business, particularly when we're owning and founding our own businesses and running them and, you know, having staff and all of that stuff. And then we also have our family lives, which comes with its own set of stressors as well. But no matter what the stressors or how many or how big, we still have to perform. And we still have to lead. And our performance is, to some degree, shaped by the circumstances that we're in and the amount and the size of the lemons that are there, but they're more shaped by how we respond to them. So we respond to stressors in all kinds of ways, through our thoughts, through our feelings, through our behaviors. But today, what we're going to do is we're going to focus on our body because your body sets the tone for your mind. Oh, that's not moving. There we go. So I just wanted to make really clear that the goal is not to eliminate stress. For one, it's not possible to eliminate all stress. Two, if you have been observant, you probably noticed that when you do anything meaningful in your life, it involves some kind of stress. So, right? So we start businesses, we decide— some of us decide to get, you know, be in relationships, some of us decide to have children. These are all meaningful things, but we also know that they come with a great deal of stress as well. So The goal isn't to eliminate stress. It's not possible. It's meaningful. And also moderate stress actually helps us perform at our best. Now I'm showing you this stress curve. It's called the Yerkes-Dodson Law, and it's, it's derived from a study that Yerkes and Dodson did in 1908. And I just thought I'd tell you a little bit about it 'cause it's really interesting if you haven't heard already. It was a study with mice and they were studying how much arousal or stress could assist in learning in mice. And so what they did was they had two pathways that the mice could go down. And if the mouse made the wrong choice, then they would receive a little shock. And they had different levels of shock. So they were trying to see what level would assist in learning, if at all. So there was a weak one, a moderate one, and a, and a high one. Now, what the results were, as you can probably see from here, um, because this is derived from that study, is when it was a weak shock, um, the, the mice learned really slowly. So it wasn't enough to really motivate them to, to learn. When it was a strong shock, um, they became very distressed and they couldn't think properly and So they actually performed very poorly. But when it was a moderate amount of physiological activation, they actually performed and learned at their best. So what we're looking for here is we're looking for kind of that Goldilocks level of stress, the optimal level. And so, because as the study said, and many other studies after that showed that A certain amount is actually helpful for performance. So today is really about introducing you to brief and practical strategies backed by science that you— that can help you achieve that kind of optimal level of stress. So I want you to think about the things that we do today as not just calming tools, but thinking tools. And we're gonna start with the body because it's an efficient and effective way to get our thinking back online. Okay, so there's a little structure to the sessions, and I haven't done these sessions before, and I know that the sessions are usually structured differently, but I've asked to structure it like this today because I want this to be a session where we are doing, because knowledge alone doesn't create change. So I could just talk through everything and you would know more, but that doesn't mean that you would actually do anything differently. But doing creates change. So today is really just going to be about doing. So I will introduce a strategy. I'm gonna talk about what it is and, and how to do it. I'm not going to give you Huberman-level details about why it works. You can look that up. But, and if you want to know more about it, I'm happy to send you information, you know, down the track. But today is really about the what and the how. Then we're going to do some practice. So we're going to do some practise of the strategies. They're Generally gonna be 2 minutes or under. There might be one that's a little bit longer, but not much longer than that. And then I'm gonna give you, so then I would like you to write the strategy. So I would like you, if you don't already have something to write on, you can put it in your, the notes section of your phone if you prefer, but we also will need a pen and paper for another activity. So if you have a pen and paper, that would be ideal. And maybe create a heading like Strategies, something like that. And what I'd like you to do after we do the practise is write down the strategy, write down your rating out of 5. So a 1 might be not helpful at all, didn't like it, would never do it in times of stress. And 5 would be very helpful, liked it a lot, would definitely try this. And then, you know, the in-betweens, like you can figure that out. So however you wanna rate it. So really the example there is just, the name of the strategy, a number, and then a couple of words to describe your experience so that it's going to be easy for you to remember what it felt like to do it. And then we'll have a little discussion. So we'll have like a brief discussion, no longer than 5 minutes, and then we'll move on to the next one. And we're just going to try to fit in as many as we can today. And then we'll have like a little discussion at the end as well. So that's how it's going to run. What I'm really trying to do with you today is help you find some strategies that work best for you because there's a lot out there that's, you know, talking about, well, this formula works and do this and everything will be great. And that's not really how it works. What works is for you to understand what the evidence-based strategies are. So the things that we know that work, but that doesn't mean that they work for everybody. So you try the different ones and then you work out which ones work best for you, and then you create your go-to. Go-to strategies list. So your way is important. So some, again, one of the other things I'd like to tell you is you might be familiar with some of these strategies. You might, you might have heard about some of these strategies and dismiss them straight away. That happens. So if that's the case, what I'd like you to do is just kind of approach each of these practises with an open mind. Just try them as if you've never heard of them and never done them. Because your experience one day might be really different from your experience on another. And before we start, I would love to just make sure that everyone read the email that was sent out prior, which asks you to bring in a couple of things. And if you, if you didn't, I'll tell you what they are and you can just quickly grab some things. So one is paper and pen, which we already talked about, a ball or a something that you can throw up or bounce. So I've got a golf ball here. Some people might have a tennis ball. Kirsten brought socks, which is perfect. So it could be like a, you know, like a car key or whatever, but something that either you can bounce or that you can throw up into your hand, like, and catch. Okay. And then the other thing is something that you like to smell. So a pleasant smell like it could be citrus or it could be perfume or candle. I've brought a candle here, the bougie candle I got for my birthday. So that's what I have. Fabulous. And I've got people in my room. I'm going to tell you, I've got Laura here and I've got Dylan. We got the camera guy and the person who's organising the session. So they're going to be doing, doing it in the room with me as well. So So are you guys ready to get started? Great. All right. The first thing that we're gonna talk about, first strategy, it's called progressive muscle relaxation. If you've already heard about this, put your hand up. I might not be able to see all of you, but let me know. This is basically, this is one of the first line strategies that psychologists use when people come in with a lot of stress or anxiety. And what it involves is systematically tensing and then relaxing your muscles group by group. So often it will be from your head to your toe, or it might be from your toe to your head, or, you know, diff— different orders, but usually one or the other. Um, and the idea here is that relaxation is incompatible with tension. Now, the reason I've chosen this is because progressive muscle relaxation is a relaxation technique that has the strongest evidence base. It's been around since the 1930s. It's been studied, um, and it has been shown not only to help you reduce stress and anxiety in the moment and in the short term, but also to reduce your overall levels of stress in the long term with some regular practise for a month. So the idea with progressive muscle relaxation in the long-form way, which is usually about 15 to 30 minutes is that you would do it on your own in a relaxing place, um, sitting or lying down comfortably. And ideally, you would start with doing it 2 times a day for a week and then 1 time a day for 4 weeks, and then gradually grade it down. Because what it actually teaches you is the difference between feeling tense and relaxed. And so eventually, you won't need to do the entire strategy, it won't take you 20 minutes. You can actually just tell yourself to relax and your, and your body will just do it 'cause it knows what it feels like to do it. So that's where, where you're wanting to get to. Now what we're gonna do today is we're gonna do like a short form of progressive muscle relaxation so, so that you can actually practise it in the moment as well with some tensing and then relaxing of your muscles that, you know, you will notice, but people around you might not notice. So I'm just gonna go through a little practise with you. Through different muscles in your body and then you can decide which ones of these muscles or which way you would like to maybe use it in your life, whether you use it before something or during something or after. So should we get started? Okay, so I just, before we start, I wanna cover two things. One, if you have pain or injury in any areas of your body, If I, if I get you to attend to that part of your body, feel free to skip it. You don't, don't do anything that causes you pain. Just listen until we move on to the next part. Also with relaxation techniques, not only this one, but like any relaxation techniques, like breathing techniques, very rarely people can have a paradoxical effect. So what that means is instead of feeling more relaxed, they feel worse. That's again, very rare, but I thought I would just let you know if that's something that you experience during this 2 minutes. Again, you can dis— you can discontinue. So all of this is voluntary. If it's not working for you and it's making you feel very uncomfortable, please discontinue. And that can be something we discuss at the end. Okay, so this is something you can do with your eyes open or closed. Just sit comfortably, make sure you're sitting comfortably, feet on the, the ground, really relaxed, as relaxed as you can get, um, and just listen to my instructions. Okay? This will go for 2 to 3 minutes. Now, just breathe at an even pace and notice how your legs are feeling. And now tense your thighs by squeezing them and holding it there. And release. And notice how they feel. Now I'd like you to focus on your hands. Notice how they're feeling. Now tense your hands by extending your fingers as far as they will go and hold it there. And relax. Notice the feeling. Now pay attention to your shoulders. Lift your shoulders up towards your ears and hold it there. And relax. Let your shoulders settle into its normal position and notice how they're feeling. And now I want you to pay attention to how your whole body feels. Now cross your arms over your chest, lean forward and hunch your shoulders inward. And notice what this feels like. And now open up, unfold your arms, open your chest as you sit up straight. Let your arms and hands relax by your sides. And notice how they feel. Scan your body for any last remaining tension. Let any tense areas just relax, letting go of any last remaining tension. And now if your eyes are closed, open them and come back into the room. And now you can take out your pen or your phone and write down PMR, put down a rating from 1 to 5, and write down 1 or 2 words that describes your experience. What did people think of that one? You can put some of your, um, description words into the chat as well, and ratings if you like. There should be a range of opinions about it, I'm sure. But feel free to put your hand up and we can have a chat. Oh, look, I can see chat. Let's see. So calming, felt good to get present in the body. Can you see the chat when I have it up or you just see the slide still? Just the slide? You're mute, Kirsten, so I can't hear you.

Audience member19:59
We can also see the chat. Oh, you can?

Dr Lillian Nejad20:01
Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Okay, great. So what, when do you think you might use something like this? For those of you that liked it and think that it might be helpful. What situations can you see yourself using it for? Yeah, before bed, before bed's a really good one. So here's what I would say about that. To get the benefits of reducing overall levels of stress, you want to do it during the day as well because you, you want, this is like the purpose of it is to feel relaxed while you're awake rather than be passively relaxed, which is sleep. However, it is really good for before, for before bed as well. So I'd say you can do it. That would be the twice. Like if you're gonna do it twice, you can do it both ways. I have a progressive muscle relaxation specifically for during the day that reduces stress and anxiety, and then also have one specifically for sleep. So, and I'll give you that information at the end so that you can use it for that. Yeah, so using it before an important presentation at work, like court, or getting centred before an event, those are perfect situations. This will get you, and you know, we're looking for optimal level, right? So a shorter form of this might be better before something really active later, 'cause you don't wanna be in a deep state of relaxation where you might not have the optimal level of stress before a court appearance, right? And that's why like doing something short and sweet like we just did might be a better option than doing like a 15 to 30-minute exercise. Okay, so shall we move on to the next one? Great. All right, the next one, let's get rid of this, is mindfulness of smell. So I know that everyone's heard of mindfulness before, and probably there's, it's been defined in lots of different ways. The way that I think about mindfulness is really practical. Mindfulness is something that you can do anywhere, anytime, around anyone for as long you want. And essentially all it is is paying attention on purpose to the present moment in a nonjudgmental way. And the reason— and there's so many different ways of doing mindfulness, but if you haven't done a lot of it, starting with your senses is usually a really good place. And the reason I've chosen smell as the sense is because smell actually has the most direct path to the parts of the brain involved in emotion and memory. So your other senses go through this part called the thalamus, and that actually prioritises whatever it's receiving through the senses so that you're not paying attention to too many things. But smell, smell just goes straight, straight past the thalamus, straight into the emotional center. So it has a lot of power, and depending on the type of smell you choose, it can actually help you regulate your emotions and reduce things like rumination and help you feel calmer and improve focus and all sorts of things like that. That. So we've intentionally chosen, or I've asked you to bring something that you like to smell. There's, there are strategies where you pick something that maybe you don't like, and that's for a different purpose. But for today's purpose, which is to reduce stress and not tolerate stress, we're gonna choose something nice. So I've got a candle. What did other people bring? For their, uh, does anyone want this? Do you want this? Okay. I'm like taking care of people in the room. Um, what did people bring? Put it in the chat. I'm interested in seeing what you got, or you can hold it up. I can see a few of you, Kylie, Michelle, Hannah. Oh yes. I can see you smelling something. Great. Okay. So we're just going to do this really short, under a minute. I'm just gonna get my timer out so we don't go too long. And so what all we're gonna do is we're gonna focus on smell and just notice the experience of that. That might be a whole range of things, right? You might have memories associated with the smell, or it just might be you're noticing the scent and that's it. If you find your mind wandering away from smell, that's okay. That's what your brain will do. Mindfulness isn't about being doing it perfectly. It's actually about noticing all the experiences that you have in the moment. So if you notice that your mind has wandered, mindfulness is noticing that and bringing yourself back to smell. Okay, so we will start. Go ahead and start. Okay. That was 45 seconds. Now, before we have a little chat about it, just write down mindfulness of smell or just smell, um, and then your rating for this exercise and 1 or 2 words to describe your experience. And put some of that in the chat as well. Put your ratings or the descriptive descriptions in the chat. So smell, some people really liked it, which is great to see. Did some people really not like it? Anyone want to share? You can take yourself off mute if you actually want to talk yourself. Yeah. Yeah, scent can really be something that transports you. And if that's to a place that's pleasant, then your stress levels go down. Any other comments before we move on? Okay, let's move on to the next one. The next one is activity. Okay, so activity helps in a couple of ways. The first way is vigorous and intense activity like running or jumping, um, for like just 5 minutes can expend stored energy that's created when we feel stressed or anxious. And it also has mood-boosting effects, as we all know that physical activity is really good for your mood. So that's one way. Another way is through novel or challenging or bilateral movement. So things like yoga poses or martial arts or dancing or, or juggling. These kinds of things can regulate your emotions because it activates both hemispheres of your brain, and that can reduce emotional reactivity. It can shift your attention and it can really steady your thinking. So I'd like you to, we're gonna do a couple of things for this one. The first one is a novel activity. So you're gonna need your pen and paper for this. And what we're gonna do is we're gonna write our first and last name with your non-dominant hand. And during this activity, I want you to notice the pressure and the movement and the pace without judging the process or the result.

Audience member28:43
Okay?

Dr Lillian Nejad28:44
So everyone have their pen and paper out, and if you're right-handed, then you're writing with your left, and if you're left-handed, you're writing with your right, and you're just gonna write your name. And you can start. When you're done, just, uh, put your head up so we know that you're done. Everyone done? Okay, fab. So put your writing in. So non-dominant hand, the number, and a couple of descriptive words. So that took about 45 seconds or less, just in case you were wondering. And let us know what that was like for you. Kirsten, I might just let you say if anyone puts anything in the chat, I might just let you say what it is. Oh, I can't hear you. You're on mute still.

Audience member30:32
Hannah's got her, she's super impressed. Hers is legible. Kylie feels the same way. Hannah feels present, focused, and was having fun with the task.

Dr Lillian Nejad30:44
That's great. I felt really awkward. Yeah, did you?

Audience member30:48
Yeah.

Dr Lillian Nejad30:49
So was that like a judgement that you were saying to yourself?

Audience member30:52
Like, I think because I'm so used to being in control and you just naturally don't even think when you write with your dominant hand, so it was like you had to shift and actually think about what you're doing.

Dr Lillian Nejad31:03
Yeah, so it really can divert your attention onto one, one thing, which can really be helpful if you're stuck in like a rumination loop or, you know, like you can't get off this kind of thinking trail that you're on that isn't particularly helpful, this can really arrest that thought because it really shifts your attention into something else. The thing that is helpful to be careful of is, is kind of like a mindfulness activity, right? It's a doing mindfulness activity. And for mindfulness to be the most effective, we wanna do this in a nonjudgmental way. So if you notice that you're judging yourself while you're doing it, it's just noticing We're not gonna judge our judging 'cause that's counterproductive as well, right? We're just gonna notice that our brain likes to go there. And that's what's so powerful about doing these kinds of activities too, because you notice where your mind wanders off to, and then you can know more about how your mind works. And so, 'cause next time we're gonna be talking about thinking, right? We're gonna talk about our mind habits and what are the unhelpful ones and what aren't, and what are the helpful and unhelpful ones. And knowing where your mind goes to can really help elucidate for you what might be the unhelpful ones. And judgement is like one of the top ones. Like we're all judging ourselves all the time or judging other people or judging situations. So let's move on to that. We're— let's move on to the next one, which is a little bit more active. Okay. So you have two options. Now, if you have a bouncy ball, like a tennis ball, then, um, you can bounce the ball with one hand, so your right hand, and then catch it with your left, and then bounce the ball with your left and catch it with your right. Um, if you have something that you don't wanna bounce and you prefer to toss the ball up, then you would just toss the ball up and catch it with your opposite hand and then do that. Or it might be socks, or it might be keys or whatever you've got that you can toss up into your hands. And we're just gonna do that for, like less than a minute. Okay, so I'm gonna get you to start now. Okay, you can start. So put your rating in bilateral, ball, your rating, and a couple of words. Now I'm really interested in hearing about what out of those activities, the hand or the ball, like whether you had a preference. Um, some people prefer more active things to regulate their emotions, regulate their bodies, regulate their stress levels. And some people prefer more, uh, relaxing things or things where there's not a lot of movement. Um, There's no right or wrong. It's just what you prefer, right? What you're gonna be willing to do. So yeah, what are your ratings or descriptions of this activity? We only did it for 45 seconds. Did it feel long? Did it feel short? Was it enough time? Kirsten, can you read me some of this stuff in the chat?

Audience member35:24
Um, so both Hannah and I feel like it's energizing. She also felt focused, um, and like it was a release.

Dr Lillian Nejad35:31
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Audience member35:34
For me personally, I feel like the muscle relaxing one was my favorite, but it also comes down to scenario. Like, what am I— what activity is like forcing me to be mindful and what am I doing it for?

Dr Lillian Nejad35:45
Yeah.

Audience member35:45
If I was to go and public speak, I'd probably— I will probably do the ball one before that actually, cuz it like centralises you but gives you that energy. And then probably the muscle one before bed or something, or like a stressful situation personally. And we would love for everyone else to share as well.

Dr Lillian Nejad36:03
Yeah, that's, I mean, those are great points. I think that it's not only which ones you prefer, but which ones you prefer for which situations. Do you want to do some of these before stressful situation? Can you do some of these during, like in the moment, even progressive muscle relaxation? You know, with the tensing your hands, normally what we get people to do when I'm like, if you're listening to my instructions, like an audio version of my instructions, I usually get people to make a fist, but I intentionally didn't choose fist for this one because if you want to do it out like in an interaction, you don't want to make a fist. That's quite an aggressive thing. Like people saw you doing that, that wouldn't look great, right? But if you extended your hand, it would wouldn't bring so much attention to it, but you would still get that tension in your hand. Also for women, usually that often they have long, longer nails and that making a fist can be painful. So, so extending your hand is actually better for that as well. So yeah, but that's a great point. And also sometimes afterwards, sometimes after situations, we just, you know, we might spend a lot of time overanalyzing and getting stressed about what we didn't say and what we didn't do, and we wish we did something better. If you wanna get off that, that, you know, line of thinking via your body, then you can use some of these activities for that as well. So yeah, you get to decide what situations and which activities work best. Any other comments before we move on to the next one?

Audience member37:42
Uh, there's a couple more. So, um, Kylie said she felt uncoordinated, um, in the beginning, but felt improvement as time went on and more focus. Um, and Hannah said she also preferred a situation where she needs to channel her energy outward rather than inward, um, depending on the task or activity that she wants to focus on. That's great.

Dr Lillian Nejad38:01
And those are, yeah, that's really helpful to hear too. Um, particularly Kylie's comment about, um, noticing improvement. So again, this, this is like an activity where it's really helpful to notice those sorts of thoughts because in some ways you're judging your performance and this activity isn't for the purpose of that. The purpose is to, to do it without worrying about your performance. And I'm not saying you, if you have that thought, it's not bad to have that thought. It's just noticing that that's where your mind likes to go because now you're getting to know what your mind likes to do, how it likes to think, what kind of mind habits it has. And if, and some of our minds, and probably most of us, who, you know, like who are high achievers, entrepreneurs, we are gonna be looking at our performance. We are gonna be thinking about how well we're doing something. And sometimes that's helpful and sometimes it isn't. So it's just good to be aware of how your own mind works and when that might be helpful and when it might not be. Thanks for that. All right, so the next one, the next one's probably something you haven't tried and it's gonna make you feel so awkward. It's called the half smile and open hands. So just to explain, um, and you might've heard this already, but physiologically, laughter and even smiling sends a message to your brain that you feel good. So even if you're not feeling good, if you do the physiological action that you would do, if you were feeling good, your brain's like, oh, Oh, that must mean that I feel good. And so it's kind of like tricking your brain into feeling a little bit better because it reduces— sorry, releases all these chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins and neuropeptides, and it reduces cortisol and it can improve your mood and decrease stress and even reduce physical pain. So even a half smile, so just a little, like you can see in this picture, She's not a full— she's not fully smiling. She's not doing a big fake cheesy smile. She just kind of just little lift of the corners of her mouth and with a relaxed face that can give you some relief. So the other thing is open hands. So there's a— most of these strategies that I'm talking to you about today are from cognitive behavioural theory and therapy. Open hands and half smiles actually through a derivation of CBT, which is called DBT, so dialectical behaviour therapy. And open hands, so when we get tense, we tend to close and tense, right? So open hands upturned like this in a relaxed way. It's the opposite of resistance. It's the opposite of frustration, right? So it's sending again signals that you're feeling willing and open and relaxed. So if we do open hands and half smile at the same time, even for 30 seconds, you can achieve like a bit of a boost and a bit of relief from stress. So we're going to try this open hands and half smile. And I will do it for like 30 seconds. And yeah, you might feel awkward if you don't want to stare into the camera while you're doing it. You don't have to, you can turn away if you like. But you can also just do it. Okay, so it's not something you would really, really notice out in the world either. So it's something you can do really easily. Okay, ready? And go. Okay. That was about 42 seconds. Now you can put your rating in, half smile and open hands, rating in 1 or 2 words, and stick a couple of your comments in the, on the screen. What was your experience? Did you Notice any shifts? If not, that's okay. We didn't do it for very long, but sometimes it's long enough. Sometimes 30 seconds feels like a really long time when you're doing these strategies. And also think about like, when you might use this, when might it be useful? Would it be useful in when you're in a challenging conversation, when you're wanting to have a better interaction, when you're feeling Feeling yourself becoming reactive? Is this something that you guys would, would do? Any comments?

Audience member43:44
No, I put mine in. I said that I can't help it because I'm always smiling. I try to smile, it's really hard for me. I would probably use it in a situation where I was feeling like quite stressed and flat and just was trying to like meet myself halfway, I guess.

Dr Lillian Nejad44:02
Yeah.

Audience member44:02
Um, just being aware of that feeling.

Dr Lillian Nejad44:06
Mm-hmm.

Audience member44:06
Yeah. Yeah.

Dr Lillian Nejad44:07
It's great that you're always smiling cuz that, that's, you know, like you're, you're constantly releasing those lovely chemicals that make you feel good and make other people feel good too.

Audience member44:18
Um, guys, if anyone else wants to share, we'd love to hear your feedback as well.

Dr Lillian Nejad44:27
And if not, we can move on to the next one. Okay. Why don't we move on to the next one? The next one. Oh, we've got, do we have more or is that just me?

Audience member44:36
Look, uh, Hannah just came through. Um, hard not to fully smile too. She did notice that often when listening to others, um, um, she felt lighter as time went on. Um, and the open hands is probably the biggest difference.

Dr Lillian Nejad44:50
Yeah, open hands is something that, um, it seems such as like a simple thing that isn't going to make a difference, but it can really make a difference. And you know, if you're doing the half smile exercise and you feel— and all of a sudden you feel like actually smiling, that's great. Don't, don't prevent that from happening. Like, let the experience happen. Like, that's part of the point, right? We're not trying to suppress anything. We're just doing something and seeing what that experience is gonna lead to. So if it leads to a full smile, great. That's, that's really, that's, you know, getting to an optimal level, isn't it? All right. So the next one is something that you probably know, but just gives you a little bit more information. So nature, being in green and blue spaces improves attention and working memory and cognitive flexibility. And it's not just looking at it and being in it. It's also listening to it and interacting with it. So we all can't, you know, if we're in an office and, you know, like sometimes I've got, you know, one client after the other and I can't go anywhere, but even looking at a picture or like a video of nature for like 45 seconds can help. So, um, And it can help in ways that actually is gonna not just help you with stress levels, but actually help cognitively. So your attention is better, your, your memory is better, your cognitive flexibility is better. So this is something that would be really easy to do because there's so many different ways of doing it. So today I thought we would just look at a visual and we'll do that for under a minute and, and you can see what that feels like for you.

Audience member46:39
Okay.

Dr Lillian Nejad46:43
And there it is. We're just gonna look at this and we're just gonna pay attention to the experience of looking at nature. Okay. That was just under a minute. I had this or this one to choose from. Oh, we can do the rating. So nature rating, that's looking at nature in a, in an image and one or two words to describe it. And if you would like to tell us your descriptions or your experience, feel free to do that in the chat. ¡Ah! Kirsten, any, um, comments?

Audience member49:08
Um, so Hannah said the longer I looked, the more she saw. Um, she found her breathing slowed and she felt more relaxed. Um, she was more curious and present. I felt the same way, except I could actually visualise myself in the water.

Dr Lillian Nejad49:24
Was that a pleasant kind of experience for you, that visualisation that came through?

Audience member49:29
Definitely. It's like refreshing.

Dr Lillian Nejad49:33
And I think I had the same experience as I was looking at it. The longer it went, the more relaxing it was. And we're doing these things for such short times, probably, you know, like if we did it for 2 minutes, the impact of it would be greater. So when you practise these down, or even, you know, obviously longer, sometimes it takes some time to work out what the optimal amount of time to do these exercises will be for you. So if you decide to continue to do some of these, I would play with that a little bit. So you can do the, the minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes, and see what the different effects are. For each of those times. I think 2 minutes for a nature one is a, is a really good amount of time. The research shows that even 40 seconds can help, so you can do it for shorter or longer. And obviously being in nature is better. So if you can actually go outside and be, you know, even sitting down on the grass or on a bench for a minute or two, like, um, we often don't give ourselves that that opportunity because we're like, oh, 1 minute or 2 minutes, not going to make a difference. But actually, if you went out there and did it, you would find that it does. So I'd say test that a little bit more. And listening to sounds of nature, if you prefer hearing versus seeing, test all your senses and see where your preferences lie. So we've done like we talked about doing mindfulness of smell, but we've actually been doing mindfulness of other things We've been doing mindfulness of movement. We've just done mindfulness of sight. We're doing mindfulness in lots of different ways today. And look, what I would like to, I'm gonna skip over the next one because I want to go to this 'cause I, and abdominal breathing, which is essentially is taking a deep breath in and with your inhale being a little bit shorter than your exhale. Probably a lot of you are familiar with. But what I would really like to do is talk about what your ratings are. So if you have a look at your list and look at your different ratings and look at your different descriptors and think about what do you think are the ones that would go onto your go-to list when you're stressed or when you need a little boost. I often tell the people that I work with to have a list somewhere that's really accessible of the strategies that have worked for you. Because when we're feeling really stressed or really distressed, it's actually really hard to think clearly. And so it's hard to, to think about, well, what are the things that are gonna help me? And so if you have a list already somewhere, like somewhere accessible, like maybe the notes pages of your phone, for instance, then the only thing that you have to think about is where's my list? Just go to the list, right? So stress, distress, if it's at an intensity where your thinking goes offline, the only thing that you need to remember to think is, go to my list and then you can look at the list and you can pick something out and do it. And that will get you a little bit, it'll get you somewhere in terms of getting yourself a little bit of relief. And then you can decide what to do after that because you'll be able to think a lot more clearly after that. So in terms of last questions and maybe discussion for today, it'd be great to hear which ones belong on your list. What were your favourite ones? And maybe put your favourite ones in the chat, actually. And, and also think about maybe picking one that you might practise over the next week. And it can be either like something we specifically practised today, or it can be inspired by something we practised today. So you might have like your own twist to something that we practised today. But if everyone can put in their, their favourite one, and if you want to put in things that you just couldn't, that you didn't like at all, that, that's fine too. Love to hear the different opinions. And Kirsten, whenever you're ready, you can let me know what people say.

Audience member54:34
Um, I've put mine in there at the moment and I'd love for everyone else to share as well. Um, I've got PMR, bilateral activity, and looking at nature, each for different situations. Mm-hmm. Great. Um, Kylie's just popped in there, PMR and smell for her. Mm-hmm.

Dr Lillian Nejad54:53
That's great. And, um, Kirsten, which one do you think that you would practise like over the week?

Audience member54:59
Probably PMR because I've never done that before and I felt really like relaxed. I actually could think of a few scenarios as you said in.

Dr Lillian Nejad55:08
Yeah. Yeah. That's, I mean, like I said, that's the most well-researched relaxation technique to induce the relaxation response. And it's one of those ones though that people either hate or love, you know, like, so there's a lot of other relaxation techniques to choose from. If that doesn't suit you, there's plenty more. And on the next slide, I'll I'll, I'll send you to, um, a bunch of activities that you can try, including PMR, so that you can sample different ones and see which one suits you best. But other ones are like visualization, um, autogenic training, abdominal breathing, lots of different mindfulness ones. Any other favorites?

Audience member55:53
I've got a couple. Yeah, so I think Michelle's put she found PMR, nature, and bilateral the best for her, which is great.

Dr Lillian Nejad56:00
Mm-hmm.

Audience member56:01
Um, Hannah, I, have you put yours in order of preference? Cause I feel like that's a lot of them, which is great.

Dr Lillian Nejad56:11
They were just for different scenarios as I was thinking about them. They were the ones that I got the best response from. They were like a 5 or a 4 on the rating, and I just thought there are times where different situations that would be my go-to and that one. Like for different reasons.

Audience member56:28
Love that.

Dr Lillian Nejad56:31
Yeah, that's awesome. So what I'm going to show you— it's great to see that so many resonated, um, and that people found at least one or two that they liked. Um, here's a little QR code, um, for a couple of albums that I have recorded of mindfulness and relaxation techniques. You can find them on Spotify, which is where the QR goes. If you already have an app called Insight Timer, you can find a lot of them on Insight Timer as well. If you don't want to use the QR code, you don't have to. You can just go to Spotify or Insight Timer and just punch in my name and it'll come up. And what you'll find on Find Your Calm are the PMR ones. So as I mentioned, I've got ones for sleep and, and ones for stress, plus a set of mindfulness techniques for a range of areas like self-worth and thoughts and emotions. And then the Practical Mindfulness one is really centred on your senses. So when we talked about smell, these are kind of like 5-minute guided mindfulness of the senses activities. So, you know, sense, sight, sound, taste, and the other one that I'm missing, and then all of the other senses, all the senses together as well. So if you like guided techniques, then that's a good place to go. Also, if you don't, if you don't like my voice and you don't like my music, that's completely fine. There's thousands and thousands of other people who record these types of Sessions. And so I would just say, just go to Spotify or Insight Timer and find the ones that work for you and then add them to your go-to list. Like, know where the— have the links ready to go, you know, so you don't have to think about it when you're stressed. The best time to practise is like when you're not stressed so that you, you know, because then you'll know like whether they're going to be helpful during stressful times or, or at least that you like them and then you can try them during stressful times. And it's good to be prepared. For those times before you feel them. So hopefully you'll find those helpful. And next week we are going to focus on how to kind of manage your thoughts and understanding what your mind habits are and whether they're helping you or hindering you and different strategies that you can do to make them more helpful, realistic, healthy, useful. So thank you for coming today, and I look forward to seeing you next time.